My dog, Shiloh, is my girl and I am her person. We clicked the moment we became a pair, and
she knows I will protect her. As such,
she rarely leaves my side…it’s almost comical.
I think she knows I love her unconditionally (crazy, I know, for those
who aren’t dog people!) And strangely
enough I know she loves me the same.
When you study the behaviors of dogs, they will give signals about
whether or not they trust someone: their tails, facial expressions, their type
of barking, and even their fur. Dogs strongly
understand who and what they consider to be their safe place and they make no
apologies for their feelings.
Shouldn’t humans be afforded the same right? We all need safe places, but we often dismiss
our internal instincts that tell ourselves if someone or something is safe or
not. Some people are overly trusting and
don’t have discernment to maintain healthy boundaries. Other people – like myself – tend to avoid
attachments for fear of getting hurt and then struggle to confide in many
people. As counterintuitive as it may
sound, I believe people need to become more primitive and instinctive with
their protective measures. Enlarge the
space if you need to trust more, and tighten the space if you need closer
boundaries. Don’t be afraid to listen to
your internal compass that is trying to teach you about your authentic safety
checks. Develop safety systems that are
not what the world dictates, but rather where you should peacefully reside as
your own person.
Next time you are on a stroll, look at the natural environment around you and take note of how pets and even wild animals interact with their surroundings. There are many messages we can learn from the four-legged creatures that are part of our world. They inherently seem to know when to trust and when to protect; when to relax and when to be guarded; when to be energized and when to chill. Let's apply their safety rules to our own rule-making.
Changepoints:
Evaluate your safety points by considering the following:
·
How do I react when I feel backed into a corner? Do I retreat or react? Are my responses balanced or extreme?
·
Do I have methods to deal with stressful, traumatic or trying experiences? Is this found in a person, a coping strategy,
or a physical outlet?
·
Are there people whom I should include within my circle of safety
or people whom I should edit out?
·
Do I believe in myself enough to care about my needs over what I
believe the perceptions of others may be?
·
If I am afraid to trust or afraid
to edit back, what tactics will I use to start encouraging myself to create
healthy safety structures?
o What hurdles exist for
listening to my instincts?
o What actions can I take to start
authentically finding safety?
Find refuge.
