Themes

When they tell us not to judge a book by its cover, they are essentially asking us to look inside and figure out the storyline.  What is the theme?  We all carry themes with us that shape the way we look at the universe.  Some themes are positive and others aren’t so positive.  I recently went back to school and have begun studying perceptions and how they shape decision-making.  I have wrestled and grappled with this concept for a long time, but wasn’t able to put a finger on exactly what my life-theme was that was causing me pain.  I know my strengths and my weaknesses, but getting to the heart of your “life-themes” is much more difficult because it requires real reflection and processing.

In a dark moment this summer, my negative theme came to me: Not enough.  You don’t believe you are enough.  You don’t believe you are enough to be heard, to be seen, and to be loved.  I think why I had avoided the recognition of this theme is because I finally realized I identified it with my dad.  I have spent most of my life (20+ years) protecting my dad’s legacy.  In the darkness of that moment this summer, I realized that if my dad took his life I must surely not have been enough for him to stay.  I know this isn’t logical thinking if you knew my dad, but my 14-year-old self believed this at some level and the theme was carrying with me today.  So, my adult self tried to talk to my adolescent self and tell her she was okay.  And, fortunately that dark moment passed. 

Thankfully, I don’t live in many of those deep, dark moments…but I do carry that “not enough” theme with me in my day-to-day life.  I ran a race this weekend that I knew in my gut I shouldn’t have ran.  And, now I’m significantly injured.  I push myself all the time, and often to the betterment of the world around me.  I try to work hard and crusade for social causes.  I try to be a loyal friend and serve those in need.  These are all great things, but what happens when the internal compass is silenced because I am trying to measure myself on the external?  I will never be enough if that is my measuring stick.  And the cycle of creating and recreating that life theme only continues.

My best friend recently asked me if I was “Living loved or living to be loved?”  Profound.  She is encouraging me to shape the ending of my book by changing the theme.  I can’t rewrite past chapters, but I can look at them differently.  I can grow from those chapters and decide my own truth, my own theme. 

Changepoints:

Assess your life-themes by reflecting on the following questions:

·        What do my behaviors tell me about my thoughts?

·        When do I feel most authentic (positive life-themes) and when do I feel internal tension (disconnected life-themes, which can be positive or negative) and when do I feel angst (negative life-themes)?
·        Do the people I surround myself with confirm my positive or negative life-themes?
·        Are my thoughts driven by my own internal compass or the expectations of others?
·        Am I willing to embrace my positive life-themes and reframe any negative life-themes I may have?
·        Who is going to tell my story and write my ending?

o   What steps can I take to hold myself accountable to both identifying my life-themes and putting those I wish to embrace into action?

o   What parts of my life will be wonderfully lived if I genuinely accept the life-themes I chose to hold?

Enough.  The new ending for my book I am trying to write.

 

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.