Titles

Upon receiving my doctorate, people would frequently ask me if I would use “Dr. Fleming” as my title.  My immediate response was, and still is, “no.”  I learned quickly that this follow-up question would be asked: “Why?”  I typically explain that I pursued education for my own sake, and I don’t want the title to be something isolating me from others.  This decision came after my younger brother received his doctoral degree, and he told me that some people don’t like doctoral titles because it sends the message that the individual has arrived, and none of us truly arrive if we are self-aware enough to admit it.  We are all on a lifelong journey.  Upon hearing this, I whole-heartedly agreed and decided to employ the philosophy in my life. 

This isn’t to say that the use of titles is wrong.  At times, I find that my title is necessary in certain professional and academic settings as a way of designating my capacity in that role.  Nonetheless, I currently don’t have any diplomas hanging on my walls nor do I use my titles unless it is prudent to do so.  Official titles can give an air of superiority, separate the individual from others, and serve to hide other facets of our identity.  However, we all use titles: mom, friend, faith-based, athlete, sister, volunteer, daughter, business-owner, and manager are few that could be used for me.  If I am completely honest with myself, I have likely used these titles to my benefit.  For example, I have used my birth-order and role as sister to teach on interpersonal communication during workshops.  This is a harmless benefit of this title.  However, what about the times I might use my title as a mom to dodge other commitments?  This isn’t outright dishonest, but it might be a strategy for avoiding hurt feelings instead of just declining the invitation.

The key is to identify the titles we voluntarily give ourselves, the ones we are born into, and those that are penned to us without our explicit permission (e.g. the title given to me as a youngster was that I was challenging and strong-willed.  This may be accurate, but is it accurate because that is who I was from birth or was I nurtured into this role by repeatedly being exposed to the theme?)

Once we identify the various titles in our lives, we can then decide what they mean for ourselves personally.  The role of “mother” certainly isn’t unanimously exemplified throughout the world.  Really, the only singular commonality is the physical birth of a child.  From there, the definition starts to depart.  In Iowa - where I am from - “farmer” is another title that can hold a myriad of meanings from crop to livestock ownership or management. 

Titles can be used for a variety of purposes or ways of categorization, so whether it has a positive or negative impact on an individual largely rests on their internalization of it.  How the person uses the title also reveals their values tied to it.  Case in point, my decision not to highlight my doctoral title is something I hold within myself as a compass for how I wish to operate at work.  The struggle comes if we hide behind a title for less than admirable reasons, if we are ashamed of a title, or if we don’t know why we associate with one.

One title I am unwavering about is “Advocate.”  I hope eternally this is part of my legacy, because it is part of my journey in helping others link to their own beautiful, unique titles.

Changepoints:

Mentally scroll through the various titles you have assumed through your life, and pick one to reflect upon:

·      What have you liked or disliked surrounding this title?

·      How have you dismissed or hidden behind certain titles to avoid personal accountability?

·      In what ways have you possibly misunderstood the titles others use?

·      How can you foster new titles in your life so you continue to grow and develop?

o   Are there specific areas you would like to pursue and why?

o   How would you personally benefit from fully identifying, understanding, and aligning with the various titles in your life?

 

Dr. Fleming is an educational threshold I achieved, and it certainly is a part of my identity.  However, I’d much rather have the artwork of my kids hanging in my office than a framed certificate any day of the week.

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.