Blazers

Sometimes during business trips I get the rare opportunity to explore communities.  Recently, I was fortunate enough to get to see the sights of Charlotte, North Carolina.  I was wandering aimlessly because I believe that’s where the magic can be found.  Charlotte’s Uptown District didn’t disappoint.

I decided to check out the NBA Hornet’s stadium because my youngest son loves basketball.  So, I snapped a few pictures of the complex and went on my merry way.  I wasn’t paying much attention to my surroundings because I was enamored by the cool vibe of the area.  In my state of distraction, I didn’t notice suddenly being surrounded by a group of very tall, athletic men.  Most were wearing clothing emblazoned with Blazers’ logos on it.  And yet, this still didn’t send any striking messages to me.  Instead, I mixed in with the men because frankly they were coming out of a restaurant I thought looked stellar.  I wasn’t interested in the people exiting the restaurant, I just wanted to scope out the cool place.  Then, I noticed that people were paying a lot of attention to these gentlemen.  I couldn’t figure out what all the hubbub was about and why these guys were wearing clothing that said “Blazers” on it when we were clearly in “Hornets” country.  I still didn’t give it much thought and just went about my business.  I smiled and chatted with some of the men because it seemed like the polite thing to do.  Then, someone beside me says, “Isn’t it awesome that you just connected with Damian Lillard?”  Ummm – sure.  Except I don’t know who they are talking about.  I had just wanted to be friendly.  As I start to pay more attention, I notice there is quite a bit of security around, cameras are flashing, and there is a fleet of busses on the street.  These gentlemen start walking into the busses, and I realize I’ve stumbled upon the NBA Portland Blazers leaving their lunch as they are preparing for the game that night against the Hornets. 

I decide not to mingle any further and take a few steps back to quietly snap a few photos to show my son later (who, by the way, was quite disappointed I didn’t request autographs).  I explained to him that I didn’t ask for their autographs, because they are just people like us.  They want to eat their lunch and prepare for work like the rest of us. 

Side note: We did discuss how it was extremely funny that I didn’t initially realize I was surrounded by professional athletes.  But I think if I had another opportunity to talk to these athletes they would likely say they appreciated that I wasn’t starstruck.  I treated them like I would any other stranger on the street…with a smile and quick chatter.  It was a comical reminder that sometimes what we need is a dose of normalcy.  To feel surrounded by regularity.  To move under the radar.  To not solely be identified by our occupation.  To be allowed the opportunity to enjoy the small moments without interruption.

Professional athlete or not, we all live in the same world.  None of us are more special or less special because of our career-path or popularity.  We all need to have the same needs met, like eating lunch and fulfilling the roles we’ve been given.  Some, however, happen to get to ride on chartered busses and eat at fancy restaurants while doing so.

Changepoints:

Think about your celebrity crush and who you would want to run into on the street:

·        Consider how they would likely appreciate solitude and normalcy in events that we take for granted, like a simple lunch.  Might we hold different perspectives about the routines of our lives if we knew these same things are gifts to others?

·        Can we appreciate that popularity, power, and status come with its own challenges?

·        In what ways can we interject positivity into the lives of others just by offering gestures like a smile and simple words?

·        Despite the career, prestige, or rank someone holds, can we embrace the notion that interactions can be reciprocal, and we all have something to offer?

o   How can we demonstrate an appreciation for where we are at in life and that this simplicity can be a reprieve for others?

o   Can we shift our perspective to an understanding that no assignment in life is altogether good or bad?

The next time you see a group of amazing athletes standing in your midst, consider that the very thing you might be offering them is the unintended gift of not asking for their autograph.  

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Pivot

Friday through Tuesday was perfectly planned.  Or so I thought.  Then, Friday night my daughter gets sick, and we end up in the after-hours clinic.  Pivot.  Then, Saturday morning my son announces that he prefers to carpool with a friend to a basketball tournament.  Pivot.  Then, Sunday afternoon my flight gets cancelled with no other flight options for the day.  Pivot.  Then, Monday morning starts nine hours of travel on what was set to be a two-hour flight.  Pivot.  Then, Tuesday is rearranged to move all the training curriculum from the previous day to one day.  Pivot.

Sound familiar?  The best laid plans can require pivoting skills to execute the change properly.  It’s not always easy to pivot when things appear to get derailed.  But usually there is a positive side to pivoting.  Friday night my daughter received care from a medical practitioner who also happens to be married to a long-time friend.  Connecting with her again made the appointment more enjoyable for my daughter and me.  Saturday I was able to take a different route home from the game, which allowed me to pick up a piece of furniture I purchased.  My son wouldn’t have ben elated to do this, so it was great I could accomplish this alone.  Sunday’s canceled flight meant my sweet dog, Shiloh, got to spend an extra evening and morning with me without needing dog-sitting care.  Monday was spent working ahead on reports, so I could return from my travels with a sense of accomplishment.

Embracing a bit of flexibility, something previously not in my nature, allowed me to receive gifts I wouldn’t have experienced had I not been open to them.  The pivot worked in my favor.  Typically, it will when we allow it.  For example, my mom and her husband recently had a mix-up with international travel arrangements, and the result was getting to the spend the night in a beautiful hotel on the Danube River.  The email sent by them acknowledged the stress tied to the uncertainty of not knowing where they were going to stay that evening and then ended with the focus of getting to experience an overnight at a place they otherwise would have missed.  Again, the pivot worked in favor of the recipient willing to receive its gift.  It doesn’t mean we have to ignore the reality of the challenges presented, but there remains the opportunity to have an open mindset.

The keyword is pivot, which means turning point.  We often mentally translate the word to divot, which is a dent or cut made in the ground.  Instead of feeling stuck or sunk by a circumstance, which is the mindset that a divot can create, try considering if the experience could be providing an opportunity to pivot.  That moment could very well be your chance to turn it into something positive.  The next time your plans don’t unfold as you image and your mind begins telling you that a divot is on its way, ask yourself to reframe and accept the opportunity to experience the joy in the pivot.

Changepoints:

Remember an experience where the unexpected outcome brought you positivity:

·        How does remembering times where you experienced positivity during a change help soften the desire to be cemented to a plan?  What are the areas in your life where you get rigid if plans appear to derail?

·        What happens when you become so tethered to an expected outcome that you fail to relax and allow opportunities to become flexible?

·        How can you encourage your mind to view change as a positive expression from the universe versus seeing it as the world forcing a divot upon you?

·        Who are the people in your life who model the ability to be nimble when life unfolds unexpectedly?

o   In what ways do they demonstrate an openness to change?

o   How can you adopt some of their practices to receive the gifts that pivoting through change can offer?

Believing the world offers a pivot and not a divot when change comes your way, and the experience will bring forth gifts for your benefit.  

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

And Also...

My daughter is the most delightful spirit in my eyes.  She is a complicated soul who is creative, intelligent, random, driven, and protective.  She has high expectations of the world, and even higher of herself.  From school, to volleyball, to her friendships: she wants “big,” and she gives even “bigger.”  Although she is now a teenager, she has been this unique creature since her birth.  For instance, when she was just seven years old, she already demonstrated her own view on the world.  It was a painfully frigid day in Iowa, and people – me included – were complaining about the intense wind.  Many children would chime in with their grumbles about the weather, but this was her response, “I just think the wind wants to help the snow blow up in the air to catch the sun’s rays so it can sparkle.”  How’s that for perspective?!  A much healthier point of view at that.

Fast forward to today.  When my daughter gets amped about something she will start a story and then realize she has more to share.  This is when she says, “And also…”.  Except that the “And also…” is typically repeated a handful of times until the story reaches its crescendo.  I’ve learned that when she says, “And also…” there is lot more she is going to tell.  Recently, I made her toast with peanut butter and chocolate chips on it.  She thanked me for the gesture while simultaneously grabbing the chocolate chip container saying, “And also, this is how we do toppings around here.”  As you can imagine, a mountain of scrumptious chocolate now hid the peanut butter toast below.

She is my “And also…” child.  She adds and adds and adds.  What starts at one spot – whether it is a story she is telling or toast she is eating – ends somewhere far grander than its origination.  She sees the potential.  She wants you to experience the fullness of the story or the greatness of what goes on top.  To her, life is all about the possibility of seeing how many chocolate chips can be added.  Wouldn’t it be glorious if we all tried to add to whatever circumstances we are given?  Instead of seeing the winter day as a battle with the wind, seeing it instead as a gift of helping the snow to glitter?  Instead of seeing the meal we are eating as a routine breakfast, seeing it as the platform to add something fun?  If we so choose, life can be “And also…”

Changepoints:

Consider some of the routine parts of your life or areas that seem challenging:

·        How could you approach what seems on the surface as regular life or areas of struggle with an “And also…” mindset?

·        What facets of your life could you expand upon to see them with greater opportunities for potential?

·        Who are the “And also…” people in your world?  How can you integrate their influence into your attitude or perspective?  If your “And also…” relationships seem limited, how can you grow your exposure to positive individuals?

·        “And also…” people are those who strive for bigger and greater.  This means stretching, growing, and attempting more.  What does this look like for you?

o   In what areas could you expand or challenge yourself?

o   How can you encourage yourself to embrace a growth mindset?

When we allow the universe to become more expansive, the opportunities will be unending and will unfold before us. 

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Deposits and Withdrawals

The world of finances has been at the forefront of my mind lately for two reasons: 1. I’ve been knee-deep in QuickBooks trying to learn facets of the accounting software; 2. My oldest son opened his first checking account this week.  Both scenarios were eye-opening to me.  With QuickBooks, I soon discovered that certain pieces of information don’t readily communicate between the bank statement and the accounting software.  With my son, I realized that my personal checking history was so long engrained in my mind that I had forgotten what it is like to be a banking novice.  In both cases, my perspective blinded me to the end goals.  For instance, I was so entrenched with my understanding of my accounting practices that I failed to remember that the bank statement and software don’t glean information through osmosis.  And my years of checking account experience didn’t work in my favor when I assumed my son automatically knew all aspects of holding a personal checking account.  When I discovered he didn’t know what “SSN” meant when he was filling out the paperwork (“social security number” for those who despise the routine use of acronyms in the financial world), I realized I needed to take a step back.  I was so entrenched with my mindset that I was missing a teachable moment.

After explaining that he did indeed have an SSN used by the government, I decided to teach him quickly about deposits and withdrawals.  I told him that some deposits and withdrawals physically happen, while others might occur behind the scenes through electronic platforms.  The difference between these tangible and intangible transactions also helped shed light on my current QuickBooks woes.  Thankfully, a new procedure was established and now both sources of information are captured.  And with my son, he now understands how to track the various ways in which debits and credits are created in his account.

The learning lessons for me surrounding these recent finance experiences have been vast.  First, I need to try to take a non-assumptive view when I am exploring something.  I should also take the same mindset when I am trying to teach.  Secondly, using unnecessary technical terms or acronyms can be inadvertently confusing and isolating for the person on the receiving end.  But most importantly, the great reminder for me was this: Not all transactions in life can be readily seen by others, and yet it doesn’t make the impact any less.  Metaphorically, the behind-the-scenes debits and credits that people experience are very real even if they aren’t outwardly demonstrated.  On the upside, this means that many different things can help contribute to the credits and deposits we offer people.  Sometimes these smaller, quieter, and softer components will add more to their account than anything else could.  Conversely, the debits and withdrawals we take from people can leave them with a negative balance.  Their emotional, physical, or mental funds might be so depleted that they have insufficient funds.  Worse yet, we might not even know this is the unfortunate status they are facing.  Therefore, let’s use intentionality in how we practice our “spending and saving.”  We only have one account we are given in this life so let’s budget wisely.

Changepoints:

Think about the tangible and intangible aspects of life’s deposits and withdrawals:

·        Remember a time when you were given much needed deposits that added to your bucket.  Think about the variables surrounding that person or event.  How does it feel to recall that positive memory today?

·        Recount a specific situation or individual who debited from your account.  What is the memory surrounding this?  How does it still impact you today?

·        In what ways do our individual perspectives shape the way we view the intent and impact of the transactions we experience in life?  Could you shift your view about the intention of others to experience the impact differently?

·        How can you intentionally work on the deposits and credits you give to your world and those who are in it?

o   How can you stretch your metaphoric budget to be more generous to others?

o   What specific things can you do to be more mindful of your transactions (interactions) with others?

Give generously and receive with a gracious heart that attempts to assume good intentions of the world. 

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

 

G.O.A.T.

The Greatest Of All Time: GOAT.  Ask any sports fanatic who the GOAT is within the sport they love, and an answer will quickly follow.  Talk to people who are passionate about their assessment, and they will provide a myriad of reasons for their position.  Some will argue that it is based upon sheer performance statistics, while others will say it depends on how the team performs in trophies and championships.  Some will state that the well-rounded players are the ones who make the grade, while others judge based on fan following or corporate sponsorships.  Typically, however, there is consensus among followers about the top 3-5 “GOATs” in a chosen sport.  But perform a search for thee absolute best athlete and you will rarely find a resounding consensus for the #1 spot from every source contributing an opinion.  And opinions they are.  While there is compelling evidence for the stance people take, there is still no perfect formula for stating what makes someone reach GOAT status.  And hence, people will have differing names on their list and how they drew their conclusion.  Watch ESPN on any given day and you will hear experts debate the topic with reverence, spirited passion, and competitive dialogue.

If we allow varying perspectives about what makes an athlete a GOAT, why don’t we consider doing the same in other walks of life?  Let’s circle back to a sport to make this point.  Because basketball is in my DNA, we’ll go with something relatable for me to convey.  In basketball, someone might be the GOAT of rebounding and not have the same ability to shoot baskets from the perimeter.  Does this make that athlete have less value?  Maybe that team would be woefully weak if they didn’t have that individual to rebound for them so they could pass the ball out to the players on the key.  Some basketball players can shoot lights-out under pressure, while others have such great defensive hands that opposing teams loathe dribbling in front of them.  The point is it takes many types of players, different fundamental strengths, inspiring coaches, and spectators to comprise team sports.  In fact, even the “best” athlete relies on medical personnel behind the scenes to keep them safe and healthy.  The GOAT rarely lives in a bubble alone, and the GOAT is frequently measured on their ability to buoy the team and work within a larger network.  There have been many athletes who are technically superior who don’t reach the level of being a GOAT because of their persona, ego, or toxicity.

The next time you feel you aren’t measuring up to the ranks of a GOAT when you are comparing yourself to others, ask yourself what parameters you are assessing them on and what you bring to the scenario that sets you apart.  There are many markers for greatness and the comparison game is a perfect recipe for making oneself feel inadequate.  Take a broader lens and look for the variables tucked away in the background, the coaches who elevate others, the subjective measures used to determine value, the overall performance of the team dynamics, and the fans who cheer on the sidelines.  Often, the most inspirational GOAT is someone who doesn’t stand in isolation and reaches their pinnacle with gratitude for supports along the way.  Watch the interviews of an athlete you are drawn to, and likely there will be a person who recognizes they are part of a larger story.  They see the unique contributions provided by those around them, and they recognize that the elements that bring rise to the GOAT exist within all of us.  In turn, their strengths don’t diminish the gifts within others.  THAT is being a GOAT, and this is present within each of us.  We arrive as our own #1 GOAT when we honor ourselves independent of marginalizing comparisons.

Changepoints:

Think about something you are passionate about and identify a GOAT:

·        What characteristics of this person inspire you?  What traits are worthy of replication?

·        While you may see this person as a GOAT, can you find ways even they are not perfect?  If they are exemplary and yet with flaws, can you allow the same to be true for yourself?

·        In what areas do you inaccurately make comparisons or draw conclusions about yourself or others?

·        How can you embrace the roles you play in this world?

o   How will this perspective change your relationship with yourself and with others?

o   What can you do to enhance genuine happiness and support for the gifts in others?

The measure of greatness and how a self-GOAT is defined starts with you. 

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Leaves

If you are from the Midwest or visit this region throughout the year, you know we are part of the United States with four true seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall.  Most people around here love the spring and fall seasons best as these months don’t present the extreme weather like our winter and summer.  And the beauty of the spring and fall landscapes are unparalleled, along with revered the traditions of tulip festivals in May and bonfires in October.  Even the air is amazing during these sacred months.

Yet, this very air is what causes allergies for many who live here.  Microscopic pollen creates wars with people’s sinuses during both seasons.  Various trees wreak havoc starting in March, where ragweed sends its power blows in September.  These very particles, however, are the necessary backbone to creating the transitions between seasons.  Eventually this leads to the magnificent plant-life demonstrated in the spring and fall.  The buds of newly sprouting leaves and the autumn colors of changing leaves remind us that nothing lasts forever.  Even the high heat of summer and the frigid temperatures of winter won’t keep their mark indefinitely.  Spring and fall eventually greet us with their joyfully opened arms.

Such is life.  If the temperatures in your life seem uncomfortably high or woefully low, remember that a season of transition, regrowth, and change could be right in the horizon.  Conversely, if you are experiencing the bliss of wonderful surroundings, it is also helpful to remember that the tiny particles of pollen-like transformation could be entering the gates.  The next time you have seasonal spring allergies or rake the fallen leaves of autumn, mindfully tell yourself that you are undergoing these because of the splendor that came first.  The next time you dread shoveling the snow or paying the utility bill from withering heat, peacefully tell your soul that this weather is preparing the world for great things to follow.  

Jump in the pile of Fall’s raked leaves.  Run through the sprinklers belonging to Summer.  Make snow-angels in Winter’s solid ground.  Pick the daisies given by the fields of Spring.  They all have something to offer.  Embrace the seasons.

Changepoints:

Determine the times in life you enjoy and those you prefer to avoid:

·        Remember a situation that was hard to endure that eventually led to growth opportunities.  What outcomes resulted that couldn’t have happened if you hadn’t experienced the tumultuous time beforehand?

·        Think of ways you can welcome the highs and lows you might face.  What serves as your gentle reminder that nothing is forever, the good or the bad?

·        How can you personalize your story to include all seasons?

o   How will this change your relationship with the various extremes in life?

o   What can you do to remain authentic to yourself during transitions?

There is a gift to be given and received during all periods of change. 

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Sum

If a person were to say to you, “I am finding some goodness out there,” you would likely tell yourself that the person is noticing facets of positivity around them.  This would be an edifying thing to hear for certain.  But what if you heard, “I am finding sum goodness out there”?  Now THAT would be a great message to internalize as it would mean the person is looking for total goodness. 

While this particular scenario paints the picture of homophones in the complexities of the English language, it still drives home this point:  Perspective shapes reality.  How often could the lens we view the world or the amplifier we hear the universe make a resounding impact on the information taken in?  Some goodness.  Sum goodness.  What a difference in the context and understanding!

Could we give more compassion to those around us if we reframed things to assume different intent than what we might initially internalize?  Can we pause for a moment to explore meaning and definitions that might be new to us?  Would it feel better to live in an environment where mindfulness is offered to others?  I know I’ve been a chronic offender myself when I jump to conclusions.  It makes for more defensiveness, aggressiveness, sadness, and unhappiness when I try to write the script for someone else.  What if I handed them the pen to share their story with me?  It would allow me to absorb “sum” instead of “some.”  Wouldn’t the world be a safer place if we tried to see the “total” of a person instead of just a “part”?  Heavens know I could use this grace and compassion a LOT as I navigate life.  I hope you will seek to find sum goodness in your world. 

Changepoints:

Reflect on how you typically shape your perspectives:

·        Think of a specific situation where more context or information would have helped you understand those around you better?  What questions could you have asked to explore this more?

·        Consider a time when you were misunderstood because the impact of your behaviors or decisions didn’t align with your real intent.  What would have been helpful to convey your truth?

·        What metaphoric lens or amplifier can you use to heighten your sensitivity to the positives around you?

o   How will doing so soften the sharp edges within yourself?

o   What relationships might change as a result?

Listen and look for the sum total of what is being presented to you. 

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.