Ingredients

People define “cooking” depending on their view of what it should constitute.  I follow the mental notion that taking premade products from the grocery store and heating them up isn’t cooking.  It’s simply completing the process provided by another.  There isn’t anything wrong with this.  I just don’t connect it with my definition of cooking.  As such, there aren't very many fully assembled freezer meals at my house.  My fridge and freezer are full, but they are loaded with individual items.  This isn’t to say you won’t find prepackaged granola bars or fruit snacks in the cupboard for my kids, but as a rule, my kitchen is void of most preassembled products.  Call it frugal, controlling, or healthier, but it’s the route I take with most food in my household.

This must not be the state of all kitchens, because I heard my daughter talking about how we are an ingredient house.  I had stumbled upon the conversation so I thought maybe I misunderstood what she was saying.  I asked for clarification, and she said, “At some houses I find food already made. For instance, they might have a package of chocolate chip cookies.  At our house you would find floor, sugar, and chocolate chips.  It’s a great thing, because you can decide to make the cookies yourself or in my case, you just eat the chocolate chips.  That’s why I say we are an ingredient house.” 

What an interesting observation.  Some people might find the inconvenience of having to make your own cookies a burden.  Instead, she focused on the advantages that come with having freedom to pick whatever ingredients are available.  I probed a bit more and asked what she thought about already assembled products.  In that conversation she commented on how the ease and speed provided benefits.  Both scenarios prompted a response that was positive and embracing of the upsides of each.

In our personal lives, perhaps we could view our world as having both ingredient and assembled houses.  Sometimes we need to look for the ingredients that will make the recipe successful.  Other times we can decide to embrace the whole package.  Maybe there are relationships, projects, or work that would benefit from an ingredient approach where we find the assets that are helpful.  Focusing on the positive ingredients can make processes more rewarding, just like the chocolate chips my daughter mentioned.  In other cases, we might be able to embrace the whole totality, knowing that doing so provides its own benefits of fullness, efficiency, and convenience.

There is more than one way to get a cookie into a kitchen.  Bake it with individual ingredients or buy it premade.  Either way, the reward is enjoying the dessert.

Changepoints:

Think of the ways in which you or those around you get a meal to the table:

·        What are the upsides of cooking a meal from scratch?  What are the upsides of buying a meal already prepared?  How does this mindset transfer to other areas of your life?

·        What are the downsides of only valuing ingredient-based cooking or only purchasing premade meals?  What areas of your life have this narrow-view and how can you shift the thinking?

·        Who are the people around you who tend to be flexible in accepting the various ways that the world can present itself?

·        How do the thoughts tied to meal prep translate to other areas in your life where you can decide to take an ingredient approach in some facets and a whole package approach in other facets?

o   How might you experience more satisfaction or relief and less frustration or discouragement if you avoided using a singular approach in your relationships or projects?

o   How can you embrace this model with your own views regarding yourself and self-acceptance? 

The act of live is much like getting dinner to our mouths – there are many ways to get the job done.

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Embassies

Twice in the past year, I have had encounters with government embassies.  Both experiences challenged my notion about what I previously believed to be stifled entities.  One experience was in Athens and the other was in Amsterdam.  The necessity for each was due to miscalculations and missteps on my end.

While traveling by train to the Athenian airport to return home, our train stopped.  This is no exaggeration.  The train stopped unannounced for almost an hour.  Not speaking the language, I was baffled until two locals explained that this happens on occasion.  By the time I got to the airport, I was scrambling.  I knew I had no time to get through customs.  As I was waiting in line, I heard an American family lamenting about the cost of having to reschedule five plane tickets because they hadn’t left enough time the day prior for customs and therefore missed their flights.  By this time panic is starting to creep in.  I get to the front counter and tell the representative about my recent woes on the train.  She looks at her watch and then my scheduled departure time.  Her facial expression gives away her concern without uttering a word.  I look at her and say, “I know this isn’t your fault or your problem, but is there any way you can help me?”

Kindness spreads through her face and she said, “It is easier to offer help when someone is nice and asks for it.”  She types away on her computer while reviewing my passport.  At this point I’m unsure what she is doing, but I’ve decided to be positive regardless of the outcome because she is being so generous with me.  I know her job can’t be easy when frequent fliers are often cranky at best.  As I’m contemplating my next step if I miss the only flight out that day to my destination, she hands me a piece of paper.  I ask her what it is, and she says, “You are going through the embassy clearance line.”  Without fully grasping the impact of what she is saying, I thank her and quickly go to customs.  I hand the card to the gatekeeper who then steers me to a line that is essentially vacant save for a few men in line wearing sharp suits.  I’m not dressed the part at all, but everyone gives me utmost care.  Not a single person at the embassy checkpoint treated me with distain because of my disheveled appearance.  I later learn that I received treatment typically given to dignitaries, which is why I catch my flight with minutes to spare. 

The next experience with an embassy was also due to a travel woe: a lost passport.  For several hours, I thought my passport had been lost in the taxi from the airport to the hotel.  I was advised to go to the American consulate as my trip was very short.  Thankfully, the consulate was only a short walk away, so I went to the gate.  Unannounced, of course.  And on a Friday afternoon.  Lovely Kiley. 

The guard behind the gate is a brood of a man and he isn’t cracking a smile upon my arrival.  I proceed to chatter at him nervously about my passport misstep.  Pretty soon, he is laughing at my prose as I recount my day to him.  He asks when my flight is departing back to America.  Sheepishly I tell him that I leave on Monday.  He tries to hide his surprise but can tell that I’m genuinely getting concerned about what I will do.  Afterall, its not everyday that I lose my passport in another country with only a few days to spare.  He then pauses and says, “I am going to see what I can do for you.”  I stand outside the gate for a long period of time and then he returns with a form.  He instructs me that I have been granted an appointment on Monday morning to get an emergency passport created if my original passport doesn’t surface in the meanwhile.  At this point, he is outside the gate because he must hand me the documents.  So, I do what any normal person does with a huge government security guard: I hug him.  The man who previously hadn’t cracked a smile is now grinning from ear to ear.  All because of an interaction tied to a request for help.

The embassy in Greece and the consulate in the Netherlands dispelled my preconceived notions about formal government entities.  But more importantly, both agencies showed what goodness can flow with a simple, sincere request for help.  Most people are abundantly capable and willing to meet us where we are at when we let them into our world.

Changepoints:

Think of a time when you asked for help, and it was bestowed upon you:

·        How did the experience expand your perspective and trust in the value of asking for help?

·        What opportunities do you have to provide help to others, especially when asked specifically for it?

·        What emotional, mental, or physical benefits are tied to giving and receiving help?

·        How does the process of engaging in helpfulness create community among the participants?

o   What stewardship groups exist that you could contribute to?

o   How can you be open to receiving help that would lighten your load so you can then pay other forms of help forward to others?

 

Each of us is a living embassy equipped to partake in helpfulness.

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Oil Change

A new auto service company opened near my workplace, so I decided it would be nice to support a local company over the national company I used in the past.  Because my Subaru Outback was now three years old, I didn’t feel as compelled to go to the dealer to have regular maintenance completed.  So, I decided to give this new company a whirl.  I called to make an appointment, and I was greeted by a friendly gentleman who asked what I was needing.  I told him I needed an oil change.  And this is where the conversation got tricky.

“What type of oil change would you like to get?” the kindly mechanic asked me.  “Umm…an oil change,” I cautiously replied.  He cheerfully responded, “Let me help here.  Do you want a conventional or synthetic oil change?”  A big pause was followed by, “Umm…I didn’t know there was a difference, but I would guess I wouldn’t want something synthetic, would I?  Maybe I should get the real oil change?”  Unbeknownst to me, I had entered the role of comedian because this man started to laugh.  And by laugh, I mean gut-laugh.  He truly wasn’t being rude at all; he was laughing in delight.  After composing himself he said, “Honey, let’s take a minute to learn together.  If it were my car, I would get the synthetic, because it is better in the long run for your car.  This is one time where synthetic isn’t a bad thing.  It’ll cost you more, but I believe it is worth the investment.”

I proceeded to thank him for graciously helping me through my ignorance.  His next words were profound, “You aren’t any different than the rest of us.  We all didn’t know something important at one point in time.  That’s why we are here to teach each other.”  He is, of course, correct.  For instance, I didn’t attain my doctorate and write my dissertation without first learning how to craft a sentence.  And there was a time when this mechanic didn’t know all the components that make up a car.  Yet today he is a master technician, to which I am grateful.  I may love the world of wordsmithing, but I’ll leave the automobile talents to him.

It would be a kinder world if everyone gave learners the same grace the mechanic gave me.  He could have scoffed at my lack of knowledge, but instead he chose to walk alongside and teach me.  Perhaps more people would have an openness to trying new things and taking new adventures if there was safety in doing so.  We all have areas of expertise where we can gift our knowledge to others.  Conversely, we all have areas of lack where we can be recipients of the gift of another’s knowledge. Teacher meet Student.  Student meet Teacher. 

Changepoints:

Consider a skillset, hobby, interest, discipline, knowledge, or path you have been curious to explore:

·        How could you introduce yourself to this unchartered area?

·        Who is a trust expert, business, or friend who could impart their wisdom or provide needed guidance?

·        What areas of expertise or giftedness have you been given that you could share with others?  How will you go about sharing this with others?

·        How does giving and receiving knowledge from others break down barriers tied to fear?

o   What would newfound confidence or a newly acquired skillset do for you?  For those around you?

o   Why are we responsible to be good stewards with the gifts and talents we have been given?

 

Sometimes a little motor oil is all a person needs to realize that teaching opportunities are just a vehicle away.

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.

Mowing

Using a lawnmower wasn’t a skill I possessed until my late thirties.  Admittedly, I dodged this task by virtue of having a dad who enjoyed the outdoors and liked mowing.  Later, my brothers assumed this task and eventually I married a man who was meticulous in the lawncare department.  To reveal the depth of my ineptness, I will share about the first time I was asked to mow.  My father-in-law at the time asked me to start the mower.  Eager to help, I went to the garage to rev up the engine.  However, there was no “ON” button for me to push.  I searched and searched, but alas I was defeated.  I came back inside and told him about my lack of success.  Being a wonderful human being, he simply smiled and chuckled.  He assured me it was okay and took care of it.  Missing my opportunity to learn from a pro, I went about my merry way.  Only years later when I purchased my own lawnmower did I realize what a dolt he must have thought he inherited for a daughter-in-law.  It was a good lesson in the power of allowing a naïve gal to save face.

Fast forward to my late thirties when I was newly single and needed to manicure the lawn.  I went to the local hardware store and trapped an unsuspecting salesperson.  He didn’t know what he was stumbling upon when he decided to help me purchase this lawnmowing beast.  But he quickly assessed that I had no clue what I was doing (which was given away when he said, “You really have NEVER mowed a lawn before?!”).  Thankfully, he decided I was his newfound project.  He took me everywhere in the store to teach me about the oil it uses, where to fill the gas, how to tell when the blades need sharpening, and basically how to avoid losing any digits in the process of cutting the grass.  It was here that I also learned that mowers are started with a pull-chord and not a magic button I was previously searching for.  He was a good man. 

When we ended our adventure together, he said, “If you were my daughter, I’d tell to enjoy the process of mowing the lawn.”  Apparently, my doubtful look gave me away, because then he said, “It’s one of the few beautiful things in life where you instantly get to see the benefit of your handiwork.  Take this approach and I promise you’ll feel differently about mowing your lawn.” 

To my shock, he was right.  Every pass I made across my lawn was proof of my effort.  As I went along, I noticed that the smell of the grass was amazing.  The sun was energizing, and I was getting a few extra steps in for the day.  After I finished the task, I decided to think about other areas where the same thing applies and folding laundry and shoveling snow both came to mind.  With laundry, the smell of fresh clothes and seeing the neatly folded piles is rewarding.  With shoveling, the fresh air and soaking in the pure white of clean snow is incredible.

These are only a few examples but the lesson can be expanded upon.  When we take tasks and decide to look for areas of incremental completion and the gifts given along the way, it changes how it feels to embark upon it.  If there is a book to read, chunk the assignment by chapters.  If there is a report that is due, break it down into palatable sections.  Create to-do-lists for the mental sake of feeling the euphoria of checking things off.  Even simply making the bed in the morning can set a positive tone for the entire day.

And in the process of tackling a new task, you just might learn something cool like a lawnmower starts by using a bit of brute strength powered with the ingenuity of physics.

Changepoints:

Consider the steps of mowing the lawn, folding laundry, of shoveling snow:

·        What similar steps could be applied in your personal or professional life?

·        How would an incremental approach change the way you view tasks in your life that you’d rather avoid?

·        Who do you have in your inner circle who would be able to help you set goals and the subset steps required to complete them?

·        What are the first tasks you can set about accomplishing?

o   How does seeing visual completion of a step help create motivation for the next step?

o   How could achievement of these tasks lead to bigger dreams?

 

Like mowing a lawn, achieving most goals is accomplished one step, one pass, one row at a time.

outSIGHTin, LLC: Creating awareness as a changepoint for improved organizational results.